(((You’re going to love this!!!!)))

 

I was just wondering.

A friend of mine sent me a joke — apparently forwarded, as I’m sure he’d never do this — and right at the bottom, just before the punch line, some idiot had inserted (((You’re going to love this!!!!))).

Now why would anyone do that? Just think about it. Why would you send someone the bloody joke if you thought they weren’t going to love it? And if you weren’t sure, why not reassure them at the beginning? If I’ve already read that far I’m going to finish it, and then I’ll know if I loved it. You won’t have to prompt me.

And your stupid addition ruined the flow of the story, you dingbat.

The same is true of all the little morals, philosophy lessons and other garbage that people append to stories. If the story didn’t make the point on its own, why did they bother to send it? Why didn’t they just send the mindless addition?

If you have a good story that you enjoyed, try to remember that the reason you liked it is because whoever wrote it knew when to stop writing. And it’s very unlikely that they need your help to get their point across. Don’t insult your correspondents’ intelligence by explaining things to them. If they’re that dumb, they probably won’t understand your explanation.

Just let it go. If you want to be a writer, write your own stuff. Don’t mess around with other people’s. It just makes you look sort of … well … dumb.

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